25 Weddings and a Funeral

In memory of @tcipdawq:

25 years ago he is waiting for his parents to love each other not for the first time.

25 days ago she watches her friends she loves writing #FUCKNIGHT for the first time.

25 hours ago they tell their brother they love him not for the first time.

24 years ago he is baptized in the name of the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit.

24 days ago she tastes the beer served to her by her new friends at OC Tavern without her saying anything.

24 hours ago they shave their brother’s goatee.

23 years ago he and his brother are using their own sign language to ask for a sandwich before they can talk.

23 days ago she listens to guests questioning her at the wedding that she’s crashed.

23 hours ago they question themselves at their friend’s dad’s wake.

22 years ago he is watching his brother and his parents in the river up north before he can swim.

22 days ago she feels the cool water in a hotel pool that she isn’t staying at.

22 hours ago they take a drink from their brother’s water bottle without him knowing it.

21 years ago he is working on a Three Little Pigs puzzle at the daycare across the street from his dad’s work.

21 days ago she asks her friends if they want to burn this city down and rebuild it with lovely people who deserve lovely things.

21 hours ago they stick their ranch-soaked fingers in their friend’s pizza.

20 years ago he is sitting quietly with his brothers at the back of a family friend’s wedding.

20 days ago she tells her new therapist that she believes she is finally beginning to grieve.

20 hours ago they ask their sister if she wants to come to therapy with them in the morning.

19 years ago he is crying because his dog just died a few weeks after his grandpa.

19 days ago she listens to a band she likes with a girl she likes.

19 hours ago they’re introducing a girl their friend likes to their family.

18 years ago he is swinging with a new friend at recess because his old friends called him “chubby cheeks.”

18 days ago she watches a comedian she likes awkwardly moderate a post-screening Q&A.

18 hours ago they accidentally poke their friend in the eye.

17 years ago he is holding his new baby sister.

17 days ago she watches Dr. Manhattan disappear to Mars.

17 hours ago they pray with their family.

16 years ago he is drawing superheroes in his bedroom while his mom sets him up on a playdate over the phone downstairs.

16 days ago she speaks in a book club with her friends discussing a book she didn’t finish.

16 hours ago they pack a red shirt from their dead friend’s memorial golf tournament.

15 years ago he is crushing on his teacher.

15 days ago she tells her friend everything while they make pizza together.

15 hours ago they color drawings in the notebook their teacher gave them.

14 years ago he is appointed second lieutenant of the safety patrol.

14 days ago she talks to a girl in a bar who isn’t interested in her.

14 hours ago they receive a voice message on their phone from a girl they like.

13 years ago he is meeting his best friends in middle school.

13 days ago she reads about the Jewish New Year.

13 hours ago they pause the Cat Stevens song on their phone.

12 years ago he is is wearing a multi-colored bracelet and his dad asks him if he’s gay.

12 days ago she eats bone marrow at dinner with her uncle and his family.

12 hours ago they sleep.

11 years ago he is confirmed into the faith with the sponsorship of his grandma.

11 days ago she feels her toe get jammed while she does the worm.

11 hours ago they dream.

10 years ago he is telling his friend in band that he missed school yesterday for his grandma’s funeral.

10 days ago she talks about her family for two hours with her uncle and her friend.

10 hours ago they sleep some more.

9 years ago he is still running after finishing a 5K with his dad because he has to poop very very very badly.

9 days ago she listens to her friend telling her that his dad just died.

9 hours ago they tell their therapist that their friends are looking for therapists too.

8 years ago he is asking his dad if he should take Latin again next year or if he should take an art class.

8 days ago she’s feeling the early morning breeze while standing naked on the roof of her apartment and arguing with her dad through tears.

8 hours ago they walk across the soccer field where they introduced the girl they loved to their dead dad.

7 years ago he is giving a valedictorian speech at his high school graduation.

7 days ago she hears her friend is in the hospital for a suicide attempt.

7 hours ago they take a picture of their teacher without knowing the lens cap is still on.

6 years ago he is loving the girl he loves not for the first time.

6 days ago she’s crying on the phone with the girl she loved.

6 hours ago they meet their friend at a cider mill just before it starts raining.

5 years ago he is dancing in his dad’s “DADS” tie with the family of the girl he loves at their cousin’s wedding.

5 days ago she tells her friends she is only beginning to grieve for the first time.

5 hours ago they ride in their sister’s car as she drives past their grandparents’ home.

4 years ago he is driving to Washington DC to be a pallbearer for his friend not for the first time.

4 days ago she follows her middle school vice principal who is sneaking her and her friends into The Game of the Century.

4 hours ago they wait in the driveway with their sister and mom for their brother who is coming back from speech therapy.

3 years ago he is walking out of his college graduation with his friends and professors.

3 days ago she smells the aftershave in her dad’s barbershop as she asks for his old haircut while crying.

3 hours ago they tell their sister to question them.

2 years ago he is taking a two week cross-country road trip alone and ends it at the public library on Detroit Street.

2 days ago she eats Hawaiian pizza with her friends after her friend’s dad’s wake.

2 hours ago they text the girl they loved, “I trust you.”

1 year ago he is holding back tears while rereading his cousin’s eulogy for their grandma in his home.

1 day ago she tears up while saying good bye to her home.

1 hour ago they cry while writing this on a flight back to their home.

Right now he is trying to kill her not for the first time.

Right now she asks to marry him for the first time.

Right now they love each other not for the first time.

He: “I’m not ok, are you ok?”

She: “I’m not ok, is that ok?”

They: “It’s ok to be not ok.”

Tanner Cipriano